Complaining is secretly killing your spirit*

According to Gallup.com around 30 % of US employees are engaged at work. That is one sad number since it means 70 % of workers are not engaged to their work.

Gallup defines engaged employees as those who are involved in, enthusiastic about and committed to their work and workplace.

I bet out of these 70 % quite many complain. I know we all have been there. You burned your tongue with coffee. Your boss didn't listen to you. Your annoying colleague just wouldn't stop talking. And then you start to complain to your partner, colleague, boss, who ever is listening.

At certain point I noticed I was doing just that. "Only thing" I could talk about was my work and how I wasn't happy with this or that. I had to change. I was not good friend or colleague and even I got tired of my complaints. I decided to spent one whole month without complaining. It wasn't 100 % successful project but at least I tried and learned to manage my complaints.

Why you shouldn't complain?

Warning: This can be a real bitchslap to your face.

1. It is bad for you. I mean it is scientifically proven that complaining is bad for your mind, health and those around you.
2. It makes you look unprofessional.
3. It is very tiring to listen to someone complain all day long. Especially now that you can send 100 Whatsapp messages to your partner or best friend. They have other things to do than read your complains. 
4. You outsource your problems. Instead of actually taking charge you don't change anything.
5. People don't trust you anymore. They think you complain about them too.
6. People will start to avoid you. Because they are not able to have real conversations with you anymore.
7. Everyone has their own problems. They don't want to listen to you all the time.
8. Complaining doesn't fix anything unless it is for reason e.g. you need to get discount of faulty product. 
9. People don't like complainers. They rather wish you would do something about it.
10. No one cares unless you pay them to care; like your therapist.

There is of course time and place when you should "complain". For instance you have an idea how your team could work better / more efficient / save money. So you prepare a case, present it and hope for the best. What you shouldn't do is this: you go to the team meeting all worked up, complain how your team is not working efficient enough or whatever is the problem; and then expect someone else to fix the issue.

First thing you need to figure out though is yourself. You need to take a long look in the mirror. Is this really worth complaining about?

It will be much better if you actually have suggestions, ideas and something to present. Be professional, calm and be prepared for questions. Present your case to someone who can actually do something about it but be also ready to take charge of the project. It was your idea after all.

THEN you can complain to someone for like 5 minutes if nothing changes anyway.

Remember this: at least you did your best, you tried to change things. It didn't work. But why stress over it after that. You don't always win. Move on. Later you can re-introduce your idea. Maybe this time it will go through? Or maybe you will come up with better one. Not everything is a win at work, sometimes you lose. And you need to learn to deal with that as well.

Finally: Remember all the good things too. Ratio should be: 1/5. One bad thing for every five good things. If it's more than that what you need is a change.

* Spirit
ˈspɪrɪt/
noun

1.
the non-physical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character; the soul.
2.
the prevailing or typical quality, mood, or attitude of a person, group, or period of time.